You Are Immensely Valuable
Let's all get comfortable saying it out loud
I was chatting with a (younger, female) colleague the other day who confessed she struggles to promote herself.
Shocker. (If by shocker I mean, not even remotely shocking.)
Study after study shows that women are far less likely to speak about their exceptional job performance than their male counterparts.
“Our research found that women are hesitant to self-promote, particularly at work—only 24% of women are very comfortable talking about their accomplishments at school or work.” Women Benefit from Self Promotion, PRSA, Sept 2024
Why? Is it because women are less confident (or have imposter syndrome)? Or is it that we are more team-oriented (e.g., emphasizing the “we” over the “me”)?
Is it because we’re socialized to believe self-promotion = boasting, and boasting is unattractive and unladylike (whatever the f**k that means)?
Or maybe, just maybe … it’s that we’re penalized for singing our own praises.
“When they brag about their accomplishments, women are perceived as competent but not likeable. Opting for modesty or self-deprecation makes them seem likeable but less competent.”
How To Brag Without The Backlash, Forbes, Aug 2023
So yeah … that double-bind is fun. 🙄
But don’t let that stop you. Knowing your own value—and being unafraid to say it—is not only important to your long-term success, it’s pretty attractive, too. My girlfriend will tell you I had her at “I was immensely valuable” … (something I said when describing one of my early roles in higher ed).
I said it and I meant it—but I don’t always find it easy to lay claim to my accomplishments. I suspect that’s true for many of you, too.
So let’s talk about some strategies for getting comfortable with promoting yourself:
Know your own worth. In order to feel comfortable promoting yourself to others, you have to first understand—and then believe—the value you bring to your team or organization. Reflect and get clear with yourself on the unique value you offer.
Focus on “the facts.” Most people don’t have a problem reporting on results of a recent initiative, project, or campaign. Report your own work in the same way—factually. “Last year I closed $1.2M in sales and attained 105% of quota.” It’s not about you, it’s just the data.
Make it a habit. Develop a regular practice of reflecting on your achievements. At some regular interval (weekly, monthly, quarterly), write down what you’ve accomplished in that period. If nothing else, it’ll make your annual review a lot easier!
Enlist others’ support. Find a “boast buddy” who you can share achievements with (and they can share with you). Send your manager a monthly summary of your work. Work with leadership to normalize accomplishment-sharing on your team (for example, adding a regular achievement round robin to team meetings).
Practice, practice, practice. The more you do something, the more comfortable it becomes. Practice using “I” when it applies. Get used to vocalizing your achievements by telling a close family member or friend first, then move up to sharing with a trusted colleague, manager, or team.
Lift others up, too. Sharing your accomplishments while also recognizing the stellar work of others makes it easier to do and lifts others up. It may also help avoid that pesky likeability issue. That’s a win-win-win! So the next time you’re looking to self-promote, bring someone else along for the ride.
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With these strategies in mind, go forth and self-promote like a pro.
Because you are immensely valuable.