Not Everyone Can Lead

Let’s normalize the idea that leadership isn’t for everyone

Not everyone wants to lead.

I totally respect these folks. They know what they want—and/or what they’re good at—and lean into that. Good for them.

Then there’s everyone else.

Those who want to move up in their careers, and leadership is the only pathway to do it. Those who aspire to leadership roles—and those who are already in them.

To this group I say … not everyone can lead. Not everyone should lead.

Case in point. Really, shorts? Photo by Austin Distel on Unsplash

I realize this isn’t very affirming. I can even hear some of you muttering … but Rae, you can do anything you set your mind to.

Actually, no.

Many skills can be learned, that’s true. And technically, leadership is one of those skills. But the effort to learn it—and to excel at it—isn’t the same for everyone.

We all have strengths and weaknesses.

One of the lessons I’ve taken away from CliftonStrengths is that putting effort into improving a skill will net different results depending on our natural abilities and strengths.

Start from an existing strength and you can move from good to great with moderate effort. Put some focused effort in and you could even become exceptional at it.

Now that’s some seriously impressive strength. And balance. Photo by GMB Fitness on Unsplash

But start from a weakness, and it may take a herculean amount of effort just to be … Passable. Mid. Okay.

Take basketball (or really, any sport). I’m 5’ 5” and not terribly athletic. My hand-eye coordination is okay, at best. I know I could learn to play basketball if I really, truly wanted to and invested considerable time and energy into practicing it.

But learning to play is different than excelling at it. No matter how many years I train or practice, it is highly unlikely that I will ever be a basketball star.

Most of us understand this to be true about sports—we’re never going be professional athletes. Not for lack of desire, but for lack of effort combined with innate skill.

Leadership is no different.

We do ourselves and each other a disservice (or several) pretending it’s not …

• We don’t create pathways for people to advance in their careers without becoming managers.

• We put people into leadership roles simply because they’ve excelled at the function it oversees (e.g., you’re promoted to an accounting manager because you were an outstanding accountant).

• We don’t treat leadership as its own unique and valued discipline.

• We don’t train leaders to lead. At best, we train them in management functions (e.g., how to do performance evals) … if we provide any training at all.

Let’s face it … we all know or have had managers who had no business being in a leadership position. Many are wonderful people we really like and enjoy, personally.

But being a lovely and empathetic human being does not make you a good leader.

If your mug says it, it must be true! Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

Being a leader means playing different roles at different times—sometimes you’re a coach, other times a counselor. Occasionally you’re a hall monitor.

Leadership is knowing when to move quickly and when to slow down; when to lead out in front, when to lead from behind, and when to get out of the way all together.

Being a leader means spending most of your time in meetings. It requires you to make decisions—lots of them, and quickly.

Leadership is prioritizing “we” over “me.” It’s caring enough for others to have difficult conversations with them.

Being a leader means doing the right thing even when it’s the hard thing.

Especially when it’s the hard thing.

Great leaders inspire us. Photo by carolyn christine on Unsplash

Don’t we all deserve more great leaders? (Yes, yes we do!)

We can start by normalizing the idea that leadership isn’t for everyone.

Being a leader is an immense privilege and a huge responsibility—one that not everyone wants or is well-suited to take on.

So let’s help good leaders hone their skills to become great leaders. And, let’s ensure that leadership isn’t the only pathway to success … that folks can advance in their careers without having to manage others.

Because not everyone can lead. And not everyone should lead.

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What do you think—are leaders born, made, or something else? Leadership expert Warren Bennis had this to say about leadership, which stands in contrast with what I’ve written above:

“The most dangerous leadership myth is that leaders are born-that there is a genetic factor to leadership. This myth asserts that people simply either have certain charismatic qualities or not. That’s nonsense; in fact, the opposite is true. Leaders are made rather than born.”

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